ME FIRST
This wellness topic is so fresh having just celebrated Mother’s Day AND Harlow’s 3rd birthday over the weekend. Truly, the theme applies everyday, no matter the setting. For some, the primary focus is kids, friends or extended family. For others, it may be clients, students or a boss. Us women especially struggle to direct our focus inward when we feel needed elsewhere. Since we are designed to nurture, we naturally give everyone else our energy first, then gift ourselves whatever’s left in the tank. It’s a difficult cycle to break, but I’m a believer in identifying simple, doable things that can act as catalysts for change. For me, a morning ritual, daily movement and accepting help are small, achievable practices that work to fill my cup first. Maybe they’ll work for you too.
Ritualize sunrise
I know, I knowww… but seriously you and I both know there’s an undeniable truth here. I’ve always been a morning person, but I became someone who developed an intentional morning routine once kids began demanding my attention every waking hour of my day. Lately, my girls keep me busy with school, golf, dance, acting, voice and social calendars, so the first moments of quiet in the morning are sometimes the only ones I can depend on all day. I generally start my day with a quick prayer and then a few ayurvedic practices like tongue scraping and oil pulling before brushing my teeth. Then I throw on my workout clothes, make myself a big glass of celery juice or lemon water and meditate for 5-10 minutes. Sometimes my 1 year old interrupts and I can only get to some of this. No matter how much I’m able to accomplish in that window of time, this ritual equips me mentally to take on the day.
Move for your mood
Please make time for movement. Create the space in your day and just do it because endorphins make you happy and a happier, more energetic you is better for everyone. There are countless reasons why you should “exercise,” but any movement has the power to cultivate joy and generate energy. For some serious inspiration and knowledge on this, read The Joy of Movement by Dr. Kelly McGonical. The key here is to do the type of movement that you truly love. You won’t typically find me in a 6am bootcamp unless I’ve been coerced by a friend. My preferred types of movement are hiking, weight lifting, spin, yoga, reformer pilates, dance and running. 30 minutes or more of any of those forms of movement makes me feel expanded, capable and HAPPY.
Accepting help
Productivity can take many forms. For me, it’s generally working out, planning, creating, writing and checking wife and mom life boxes. None of which can happen to my fullest potential without a little help. Maybe for you productivity takes shape in other ways. Maximizing moments of free time (or just time when I simply have my hands free to focus) makes me feel confident, proud and in control. Yes, sometimes naptime can provide a little breathing room, but it doesn’t compare to having family or hired help. While Harlow is at school and Hunter is with our sitter, I test recipes or write posts like this. Sometimes I delegate tasks like housework to the older girls or ask friends to help with carpooling. Sometimes I pay a cleaning service to help take some weight off of my shoulders. If mealtime is wearing you down, allow me to help make dinners more easeful and pleasurable. You can become a member and access my simple meal plan strategy here. In reducing our task lists by asking for help, we give our families (and ourselves) a more present us.
I hope in sharing the ways that I fill my cup, you’ll explore what works for you…or build onto the ones you’ve already established. It’s not selfish so please don’t apologize. By adopting the “me first” attitude, you’re giving everyone you care about your best self and setting the example for them to do the same.